And the Award for Insanity Goes to
by Persiana13
Summary: The Justice League and their villains are invited to an award show hosted by the Joker. Insanity ensues! Because I felt like torturing the characters, and I don't like award shows.


**And the Award for Insanity Goes To… **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. _

One Shot 

Farrah, the white haired lioness heroine Persiana, looked around,

"Uh, you guys get the feeling this is a trap. Cuz, I'm starting to wonder…"

She, along with Wonder Woman, Batman, Wonder Girl, Superman, Flash, Diablos, Tigra, Miss Marvel, and Wonder Man, had received a distress signal about a large attack of super villains. However, they found the building to be deserted.

Superman used his X-ray vision to look around,

"There's definitely someone in here, skulking the shadows."

Just then, there was a familiar annoying voice,

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Catman appeared from seemingly out of nowhere, praising his love for Farrah. Of course, Persiana snapped, shrieking,

"CATMAN! WHEN THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE A FREAKIN' HINT?! NO MEANS NO!! I DON'T WANT TO MAKE KITTENS WITH YOU, NOW OR EVER!!"  
Tigra was equally infuriated,

"Yeah, what my little sister just said!"  
Another voice said,

"Great, just great. Catman thinks with his hormones, again."

Out of the shadows stepped forward Lex Luthor, in a battle suit, Circe, Gorilla Grodd, Yellow Jacket, Solomon Grundy, and Ultra-Humanite.

Circe blinked,

"I heard there was a sale going on."

Lex shook his head,

"I heard there was Kryptonite here."

Superman said out loud,

"Who could have possible invited us here?"  
A maniacal laughter followed the answer to that question, and a spot light revealed a stage not too far away. From a stage door in the floor, the Joker rose out and exclaimed,

"Welcome, boys and girls!"

Diablos groaned,

"You have got to be kidding me."  
Batman got a Bat-arang ready, but Joker tutted,

"Oh, come on, Batsy! I'm not here to cause mayhem. Oh, wait, mayhem's going to happen anyway."

Lex looked at the Man of Steel,

"Should we ignore him and fight, or what?"

The Clown Prince of Crime shook his head,

"Lexie, I'm appalled. I mean, I didn't organize this award show just for any old group. I organized it for you ladies and gents."

Gorilla Grodd blinked,

"You're hosting an award show?"  
Joker smiled,

"Of course! It'll be just like the Emmys, only people will actually want to watch!"

The lights came on and stadium seating was seen. Joker grinned,

"Come on, everyone. Grab a chair."

Batman said,

"You can't be serious."

The purple-suit villain nodded,

"For once, I am."

Farrah raised her hand,

"I have a question."  
Miss Marvel rolled her eyes,

"This'll be good."

The lioness stuck her tongue out at the blonde and asked,

"If you're going to host this show…can I be your sexy co-host?"

At this, every hero and villain in the room dropped to the floor, stunned. Superman said in his daze to Wonder Man,

"How did you ever put up with her?"

Miss Marvel answered for him,

"We had a LOT of alcohol on hand."

Harlequin marched on stage,

"But, Mr. J, I was supposed ta be the sexy co-host!"

Joker shook his head in sympathy,

"Sorry, Harl, but, as Persiana is often quoted; dudes dig the fuzzy chicks. So…"  
He pressed a button, catapulting Harley out of the building and into the next state. Tigra groaned,

"This is going to get insane."

**Ten minutes and a sexy dress later… **

The Justice League and their villains were now sitting in the chairs. Persiana, dressed in a revealing and sexy red dress, had handed out programs, and a boot in Catman's front teeth.

Circe read through the program,

"There's an award for Most Likely to Have a Nervous Breakdown, Most Likely to Get Neutered, and Most Likely to Die a Virgin."

Lex grinned,

"There's also a worst dressed list…"  
His grin vanished,

"AND I'M ON IT!"  
Yellow Jacket cried out,

"I AM TOO!"

Wonder Girl smirked,

"Not surprising, considering men know little of fashion."

She sighed,

"Gods, Persiana is gorgeous in that outfit."

Farrah looked back,

"I heard that."

The immortal sorceress grinned,

"So, tell me, Diana; how did Persiana seduce your little sister, anyway?"

Wonder Woman shook her head,

"I'm not exactly sure on that. I'm just grateful she's not into girls."

Donna folded her arms, pouting,

"I wish she was into girls. She is SO flexible."

Catman looked sternly at them,

"She is mine! She is willing to make kittens with me!"  
Farrah grinned,

"Hey, Wonder Girl. Beat Catman to within an inch of his life and I'll make out with you."  
The feline villain looked at the white-haired lioness,

"But, goddess, why? I love-."

Before he could get another word in, the younger Amazon princess had already tackled Catman and began beating him to a bloody mess. Diana looked at Farrah,

"Must you be so devious?"

Joker smirked,

"And people say I'm crazy."

He cleared his throat and looked out at the audience,

"All right, boys and girls. If you get your name called, come get your award, and make a little speech. Let's begin!"  
He pulled out a card,

"Now, for our first award in the category of Most Likely to Die a Virgin, we have the following nominees…"

He counted off the names,

"Lex Luthor…"

Everyone snickered at that. Lex scowled,

"Idiots."  
Joker continued,

"Catman…"

Catman looked up,

"What?"

He then got beaten down by Wonder Girl some more.

Joker looked at the card,

"Huh, well, only two nominations."

Farrah walked to the podium and said,

"Well, who does the award go to?"

Joker read off the card,

"LEX LUTHOR!"

Lex was stunned,

"WHAT?"  
Superman was laughing hysterically,

"So true!"  
The bald industrialist was handed an award, and went back to his seat, still stunned,

"Catman's going to get laid before me! That's insane!"  
Catman was silent, he was unconscious. Farrah smiled,

"Now, the next award is for Sluttiest Heroine or Villainess. The contenders are Miss Marvel…"

Carol rolled her eyes,

"You're doing this to me on purpose."

Farrah read off the card next,

"Circe."

Wonder Woman laughed, while Circe just shrugged. Farrah continued,

"Wonder Woman."

At this, Diana was shocked,

"WHAT? Why should I be nominated?"

Farrah shot her an even look,

"Can you say hypocrite, Diana? Look at your costume."

Diana stood up,

"For your information, sister; this happens to be an Amazon armor forged for the woman that wins the title of Wonder Woman."

Farrah quipped,

"I hate to see what your lingerie outfits are like."

Circe shrugged,

"Probably see through."

Diana glared,

"Oh, like you're ANY less scandalous! What about that tight green outfit you constantly wear?"

The sorceress smiled,

"Men don't seem to mind."

Farrah grinned,

"You should have seen the bikini I bought for Wonder Girl. Speedy almost collapsed in shock at how hot she was."

Donna giggled, while Diana just shook her head,

"Can we please end this award show already? I really want to hit something."

The Joker shrugged,

"Suit yourself; the winner is…MISS MARVEL!!

Farrah smirked,

"No surprise there."

Carol shouted,

"Wait a minute! Why weren't you listed as the nominees? You're a bigger slut than us!"  
The white-haired feline shook her head,

"There's a difference between being a slut and being a symbol of sex, Miss Marvel. I merely epitomize female sexuality in its finest."

Diana was outraged,

"How dare you! I was molded from clay and given the gifts of the gods, including what it means to be a woman!"

Farrah snickered,

"What'd they use; Play-doh? Besides, being a feminist just proves you're really just a whinny bitch. Sorry to say."

Carol folded her arms,

"Like you would know what feminism is, furball."

Farrah snapped,

"Kiss my furry ass, Marvel!"

Miss Marvel scoffed,

"Sorry, I don't swing that way."  
Donna grinned,

"If she won't, can I?"

Wonder Woman yelled,

"I can't take this anymore!"

Suddenly, Diana woke up in her bedroom in Boston. She panted in a cold sweat and said,

"It was all just a dream. A really, really bad dream."

She laid back down, saying out loud,

"From now on, I am not having Persiana cook her anchovy and strawberry cheesecake. That thing is not for human consumption."

She winced and struggled to get back to sleep.

End of One Shot!


End file.
